Do external forces guide my life?
That's what it feels like right now. But it wasn't always this way...
It used to be internal forces that guided me. Whatever I wanted to do used to be possible. The opportunities were all around, and I had the freedom to choose whatever I desired.
I took advantage of some of them, no doubt, but I missed so many because I took that freedom for granted.
Now, everything's changed.
There is no more endless freedoms. My options are severely limited by external forces, like health, money, and politics.
Health: sucks. Money: none. Politics: all crazy.
What do I wanna do? A lot! Surely it wouldn't be doing what I'm doing now if I had the choice. The desires in my heart far exceed this lifestyle. But... I am not in control of my life's circumstances. Not anymore.
So that got me thinking... Are these external forces all working together to ensure that my life is directed down a very particular path? If so, is going through the mundane, seemingly boring, everyday been-there-done-that existence going to lead me to the most blessed life? Not blessed in that I will be rich, but that I will impact the most lives and leave the greatest legacy.
If that's true, it really changes my outlook on how I live today, right now. I mean, c'mon. If I am on the path that will lead me down the road filled with the most joy, how can I be satisfied by anything but?
This is my road. It's my path. It must be, dare I say it, my destiny.
Time will tell. But today, this day, I believe.