My Strivings Cease

I used to be invincible.

I had dreams I could do anything in the future; I could be anyone.

I never sought for something that could be spoken, for if I could think it then it couldn't be grand enough for someone not bound by the laws of physics.

Flash forward to the present and you'll find the laws of physics have caught up to me.  But even so, I didn't stop striving for something greater, until now.

Eventually there will come a time in your life where you quit striving and just be.

For me, that time has come.

Dropping out of grad school was the flesh and blood pivotal point in my life; not a slow transition like most probably feel, but the raw cold hearted ultimatum of then and now.

The reason I pursued it in the first place was to avoid an inferior job; to open up new possibilities and better outlooks. Once you forgo something higher, you're stuck in your status.

But on the positive side, you're able to really enjoy where you are and your surroundings in a way striving can't. In fact, the very nature of striving refuses to let you be content and forces you to continue on, pointing to those around you and convincing you to be like them, and even better.

I have no idea what I'm doing, but I know my strivings have taught me something invaluable. It's that something that I don't want to loose.

There are so many beautiful things that must happen in this world: heaven to come, a kingdom to spread. It's these strivings that I can never let go of, for they make me who I am; even shape my character.

I have to be content in where I'm at but never to be satisfied with where the world is, and where my friends lie. I want to just be. I'm ready to just be, but quicken my strivings I pray for something tangible to touch this street, these trees, their hearts.

I've reached my limit in this world. My dreams end here. The superhero has no more episodes left.

But even so, I pray, LORD let Your kingdom come.

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