You walk into the blue-lit auditorium.
You see the girl dancing on stage.
She's wearing a classy dress and not one hair is out of place.
She starts speaking, sharing her story, and you realize her personality matches her looks.
And then you look next to you.
Your wife is siting there.
You're a married man.
What kind of relationship would be appropriate to have with that beautiful girl on stage?
What would your wife approve of?
Would it be okay to sleep with her?
Would it be okay to kiss her?
Would it be okay to hold her hand?
Would it be okay to hug her?
How about to discuss intimate desires?
Would your wife agree with that?
Whatever you wouldn't be willing to do with that girl on stage while married should be the same as before marriage.
To put it simply, if you wouldn't sleep with another beautiful girl as a married man, then don't sleep with any beautiful girl before you're married.
She doesn't belong to you.
And for girls, the same principle applies.
If you don't want your husband to discuss his intimate desires with another woman, then don't discuss your intimate desires with someone you like before you're married.
Sex outside of marriage is wrong, but so is emotional sex outside of marriage.
Emotional sex means connecting on an intimate, emotional level with someone you like before marriage.
The ancients avoided these two issues by having arranged marriages, fast-track marriages, or even 'we-just-met-but-let's-get-married-now' marriages.
Guys find it hard to wait for marriage to be physical with a girl they like.
But girls find it hard to wait for marriage to be emotionally intimate with a guy they like.
Both are wrong.
I suggest a new way to look at getting married.
Counseling is a great start to a relationship, but you must be conscious of the topics discussed.
You should definitely cover the major areas such as family, marital roles, children, finances, retirement, death, etc.
You must talk practically about the commitment required and the seriousness of a covenant relationship.
Just don't allow the girl to have emotional sex with the guy to satisfy her needs in the same way you don't allow the guy to be physical with the girl to satisfy his needs.
After marriage, there is plenty of time for more counseling that can discuss intimacy.
You can get counseled your whole life and still have more to learn.
But remember this...
Don't give your body away before marriage, but don't give your heart away either.
I believe if we follow these two principles, couples will either quickly go their separate ways or get married just as the ancients did.
To know whether someone is the one or not, all you have to do is say 'Yes'.